02 March 2017

Dating. YAY.

someone asked me the other day for advice. so heres my tips.

First date 
  • No movies, No phone, No social media, No group dates (unless used as excuse to get together. I'll tell you why they aren't the best idea. Group dates can be more relaxed. But in a way you've got to compete with a whole bunch of people for your dates attention. How can you get to know someone well enough to decide on what level you like them? It can be hard to have deep conversations in a loud space. But there are exceptions to every rule. )
  • Who ever asked who: picks up, drops off, and plans. (Walk all the way to the door. Please. Otherwise it's just awkward and can give the wrong impression. Or the right one. Depends haha). 
  • Keep doorstep scene brief (less awkward. Less needy.) 
  • Casual: date, conversation, questions, clothes. You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time. 
  • Don't share to much. (No talking about to deep of stuff: e.g. exs, suicidal roommates) Keep it laid back. Don't brag. 
  • Low impact activity ( still have an activity but can still spend 90% of the date talking). 
  • Ask questions and always give good answers. (You don't want them to feel like they're in an interview or giving one.)
  • Find out goals, hobbies, interests, accomplishments 
  • Figure out love languages (ONLY if highly interested otherwise you cares?) 
  • Introduce touch early (e.g. Hug at beginning. In case you feel inclined later in the date to make a move: e.g. Hand holding or kissing. You know just in case.) 
  • Sit next to each other (not across, if possible. In case of awkward silences you can have a way to look away with out being forced to just see them.)
  • Keep it short (45 mins- 1.5 hrs. This also depends on what the activity is) unless they give signs to continue longer 
  • Be thankful and polite. 
  • And always ALWAYS be yourself (you will be more comfortable and not fake. Plus if they want another date than you know it's because they're interested in you and not some fake persona). 
  • Remember they are just as nervous as you are. 

IF INTERESTED: (during/ after 1st date) 
  • give hints (touching, teasing, flirting). Make it a bit obvious but not overbearing. 
  • Message each other (don't keep them in the dark. It's stupid). 
  • Go out again sooner rather than later (if they're as interested as you are you don't have to wait a week. But be respectful. People are busy. Remember that.)